So you wanna’ be a tough guy, eh? Is that right? Yeah, so what makes you think you got what it takes? You’ve been at this for a long time. Dedication. Sacrifice. You eat, sleep and drink this life. Everyday. All day. You do what you have to do. What is necessary. You have a goal that must be reached at any cost. That’s why you do steroids, right?

Aww, C’mon! What’s a little boost to the ol’ bod, eh? It’s not like it’s doing the fight for me or anything. I’m the one in the gym. I’m the one training everyday. So what’s the harm? I just needed a little edge.

You’re absolutely right? What’s the harm? You need an edge and you’re entitled to it. What? You expected me to disagree? Nope. Not me. Do your thing, Dude. Er, rather Dudes… and Dudettes. Why not? Level the playing field. That way we’ve all got a fair shot at the big time. Whad’dya talking about side effects? Hey man, when we’re talking about all of that money to be made… Well, eventually there will be money to be made. The fame! The adoring fans! Well okay, so there’s only a few well known guys but there will be more.

Remember Lyle Alzado? Big, strapping, intimidating and destructive defensive end for the Los Angeles Raiders. The rumor mill went into overdrive about his illness and death mainly because of the press conference and his rapid degeneration prior to his death which still came as a shock to many despite being prepared for the inevitable. Although his death was officially listed as Complications due to Brain Lymphoma, Alzado believed and even said, “It was the steroids.”

Remember Ben Johnson? World class sprinter. Fastest man alive… Ever! Set a World Record in the 100 meter that will likely never be broken. Stripped of every thing he ever earned because he tested positive after that amazing Olympic performance. I remember because I watched it live. He destroyed the other runners, including the great American sprinter, Carl Lewis. Ben and Carl both ran neck and neck with the field. (having seen so many races, I knew what was to happen next. I was a former high school track athlete) The sprinters’ game is to accelerate to top speed and the one who can maintain that speed the longest wins. That’s what Carl Lewis was great at. But this day I, along with the rest of the planet saw something we had never seen before. Had never heard of. As the rest of the field trailed off leaving Carl and Ben ahead of the pack. It was a given that Carl Lewis would coast his way to yet another victory, that is until Ben Johnson did the unthinkable, the impossible… he accelerated. “You gotta’ be f***ing kidding me?” I heard my uncle say as we watched in disbelief. It wasn’t until Ben took his victory lap did the specter of truth rear its ugly head. There in the camera for the whole world to see, the deep yellow, jaundiced eyes of Ben Johnson twinkling on my TV. My uncle and I looked at one another and gasped. It was that obvious. You’re gonna’ tell me that no one else saw that which we could see thousands of miles away on a TV set?

I apologize for the dramatization but that was to illustrate one point, he thought he knew better than the doctors and trainers and self-medicated himself into damn near a lifetime suspension. And you still think you know what’s best?

All right, it’s true. These guys had the best doctors and trainers, huge multi-million dollar salaries and facilities at their fingertips and still developed ‘problems’ but, “That won’t be me. I don’t use nearly as much those guys probably did.” You think the team physician/therapist/trainer of a multi-million dollar football or baseball player is gonna’ overdose his cash cow and jeopardize his standing with the organization, all because this guy wants to pretend he’s the ‘Incredible Hulk’? You had better believe these guys had the best of everything including scientists on the cutting edge of designer steroids.

Back Acne. Liver Tumors due to toxicity. Jaundice. Fluid Retention. Testicular Atrophy. High Blood Pressure. Reduced Sperm Count. Infertility. Gynecomastia. Psychological effects include paranoia, delusions, impaired judgment, severe mood swings and more. The long-term effects of steroid use are largely unknown at this time. But with the list of deaths growing and the obvious side effects becoming more and more prevalent, it’s just a matter of time before more evidentiary studies are conducted. What? No hard proof, you scoff… Oh well then, please allow me to retort. Going to jail on a “Possession of Schedule III drugs with or w/o the intent to distribute” not good enough for you?

As it stands and as of this writing, the current penalty for first time discovery of illegal steroid use by the California Athletic Commission is Suspension up to but not limited to one year and a possible fine of $2,500 US.

Look, you don’t have to tell me that the lure to be the best is so strong it bears noting. I already know. That the adoration of the crowd is a powerful draw, practically irresistible. Yes, it really is. That the money, Oh God, the money is… incredible, to say the least. I understand that too. All the more reason you have to be better, stronger and more determined than ever to resist the temptation to fall into that trap. Initially, when asked why they initially got involved with the drugs, the majority of young athletes said it was to keep up, catch up and/or to be on a level with the more talented athletes they competed with. As they get older and endeavor into more high profile sports, the pressures of scholarships and recruiters are the reason. Of course if you should show any kind of potential for professional sports, that‘s when the three P‘s come into effect. Pussy, power and profits. They go hand in hand and not necessarily in that order but without this benefits package, professional athletics would be more specter than spectator.

Royce Gracie, busted. Ricco Rodriguez, busted. Tim Persey, busted. Ben Rothwell, voluntary rehab. Johnnie Morton. Stephan Bonnar. Sean Sherk. Hermes Franca. Nate Marquardt. Josh Barnett. Tim Sylvia. All busted and suspended. Is that how it’s gonna’ be? You can’t regulate yourselves so the organizations, the government and the commissions have to do it for you. I thought we were trying to mainstream this sport? I thought (given your interviews and repeated statements) this was the future, to benefit us all. I guess that bridge has been sold after all.

Go ahead fellas’ keep shaving your heads so we can’t see the effects of the steroids on your hairlines. Tan that pasty skin to hide the acne and the scars. The DL keeps getting longer and longer because of injuries due to stress on joints and ligaments that can’t handle the massive workloads put upon them. We’ll keep looking the other way and making excuses for you until that fateful day when you pull a Canseco and snitch on everybody because of your lack of character. But then, because of your drug use we already knew that day was inevitable and we knew that about you. “Just because you are a character, doesn’t mean you have character.” --Winston Wolf speaking to Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega in the cult hit Pulp Fiction.

See you in the ring. --Ironman